As parents in their Land Rovers and BMWs took their turns pulling up to the first-year dorms to unload their cars, it was beginning to feel like spring semester. After nearly a month at home, practically on a leash with their parents and siblings, everyone was ecstatic to finally be back in Lewisburg and ready for warm kegs again.

Most kids at schools down south had already begun posting Instagram pictures sporting captions thanking the amazing Syllabus Week for existing, which confused me. Why do my friends from home turn into alcoholics during the first week of classes? How do they have time to go out daily among all the new homework and stress of remembering how to write legibly with a pencil? 

I have never felt more betrayed than when I realized Syllabus Week literally anywhere else is very, very different from Syllabus Week here. 

Syllabus Week here is, at best, five minutes devoted to talking about why missing class more than twice a semester is unacceptable, and then receiving more work than is humanly possible to complete on the first day. 

Syllabus Week anywhere else is an excuse to destroy your liver for seven full days! 

Ridiculous. 

Many people, including Mike Harder ’21, shared my disdain. “I just don’t understand why they even bother using the phrase ‘Syllabus Week.’ Like, when I got written up for throwing up on someone’s door dec, they told me my meeting would be on Tuesday of Syllabus Week. I’m going to assume that means I don’t have to go because it doesn’t exist at this place,” Harder said.

Other students agreed and were even willing to disclose what they wanted to do to improve Syllabus Week.

“It really bothers me that I spend so much money to go here and I still have to do work RIGHT when I get back! I want my opportunity to use the phrase ‘sylly week’ in an Instagram caption just as much as any sorority girl down south!” Sven Ka ’22 said. “I mean, I think we should either have Super during classes the entire week… Or just start pregaming any time anything not regarding the syllabus is mentioned in class.”

Until future generations take such actions, Syllabus Week will not be a part of the vernacular of students at this university.