The University just decided that its richest contributors weren’t paying enough and, in turn, decided to raise the comprehensive fee for the next academic year to $74,900. 

The Bucknellian spoke with Christopher Crankium ’92, the new Associate Interim Dean for the Continued Advancement of Facilities, Construction, Students and Arts & Sciences, who made a comment at last week’s faculty meeting. 

“In this new decade, our worldwide economy demands stronger facilities, stronger degrees and stronger students. That’s why we are constructing big, bold beautiful buildings, newer, more obscure departments, and more gym facilities with mandatory fitness classes. All of this is totally, 100 percent necessary, to create a stronger campus community, as we all know upper body strength is paramount in this changing world.”

The decision to raise annual fees to the price of a three-bedroom home in Syracuse came not with a bang, but with an unassuming email to parents of students.

When asked to explain why students weren’t directly notified, Crankium said, “Look, I know how this looks. It looks like we don’t trust our students to make their own financial decisions. But that’s not true. We trust them to pick a dining plan that works for them, a housing option that’s affordable and a major that will make them tons of money in the future. So I don’t see it as a big deal that students aren’t directly told how much they’re paying.”

After asking Crankium what the additional $2,530 was going towards, he said, “Look. The U.S. News & World report literally owns us. Literally. Owns. Us. So, we need to keep building new buildings, badgering alumni for their money, stretching our professors thin and making so many new, oddly specific departments. If you don’t like it, you can leave.”

The Bucknellian spoke with senior Linda Landerbachner ’20, to get the perspective of a student regarding the tuition changes.

“There’s literally no trust involved; he literally makes no sense. I think I’m going to drop out and work at the Cat Café downtown. At least the people there understand that life is more than giving your money to sit in classes you hate.”

Landerbachner said she and other students wanted to lodge a complaint to get their financial aid raised in accordance with the tuition raise, but were instead directed to the Interim Associate Office of Student Complaints and Equitable Crying. The Office did not respond to our request for comment.