As I am sure the majority of you know, snow has been falling down on campus, just adding to the nearly insurmountable number of problems the University is already facing.

The first of many examples brought on by the snow is the newest way students have been travelling. Sure, the sidewalks have been paved, but what’s the fun in walking? That’s right – students are now sledding their way across campus. While sledding is an enjoyable activity, there is a darker side to this pastime: the tragic destruction of other people’s shins. Yes, while sledding does create some happy moments, the real question must be asked: at what cost? As long as there has been sledding, there have been people whose shins have been irreparably damaged from small-time crashes. As a tragic twist of fate, now those people, too, must engage in sledding because of bruised shins. The University was never exactly “wheelchair-accessible,” but with this snow there’s no such thing as stairs, only ramps.

With the snowfall as heavy as it is, there was bound to be issues with traversing it. Before I get into that, though, I feel it is important to bring up another related topic – search and rescue dogs. These animals are used to find missing people, especially after natural disasters. As such, would it surprise anyone that search and rescue dogs were used on our own campus? Yes, after that great snowfall, students actually got lost in the snow. There have been around six cases in the past two weeks, and they just keep piling up. I even came close to getting lost in the snow once while I was going to class, but then I realized all of my classes were online, and somebody had just spilled a entire bag of flour on the floor of the common area.

Another issue is that with snow everywhere, ice soon follows. The University has had a 300% uptick in sports injuries. This is caused by a great many reasons, but the main one is by far the most tragic: spontaneous ice. Since the majority of sports require great movement, many of our brave participating athletes have tragically slipped and fell on this traitorous material without so much as a friendly warning first. Victims include members of the track, football, cross country, lacrosse, football, basketball, rugby, ninepins, tennis, speed-walking and ice skating teams.

I do not like snow, but as it turns out, my intense dislike for it is not without some merit. The snow has caused us enough problems for one semester, adding on to that of the pandemic. There is clearly only one course of action to compare these numerous tragedies. Ban snow. It is the only way to keep people safe and to get our sports back in action. If not, there will be countless more accidents and people harmed. If you do not believe me, then that’s your problem, not mine.