Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and millions of families are by now getting ready for food, football, shopping and spending precious hours with those extended family members you probably dislike. Yes, there will be those wonderful conversations surrounding politics, religion, current events, how school is going and every other topic that only appears when more than three members of your family are present for any reason.

Now these conversations can be daunting for even seasoned veterans of awkward family conversations – the worst of all being sharing what you are most thankful for at the penultimate holiday dinner of the year. Thankfully, it’s your lucky day; this year you don’t have to think of your own particular things to share at Thanksgiving dinner. Instead, we are going to do it for you! 

Actually, a focus group from the Humanities Department curated a “Thankfulness Declarations that will Appease Your Insufferable Family” list, and asked us to share it with the student body which we’re grateful for seeing as everyone here at The Bucknellian were struggling just as much to come up with thankfulness declarations. 

First, there’s always the tried and true statement: “I’m thankful for my family and friends,” – this might even be true for some! Or at least the friends part. Others are being thankful for your grades or job, which are perfectly believable as long as no one asks too many questions. Similarly, the “I’m thankful for being here today with you all,” platitude’s truthfulness depends heavily on what company you’re in. Plus, there’s the added bonus of working just as well at weddings or funerals. 

However, if you want some private entertainment while you struggle to be cordial throughout the evening, maybe add some subtle jabs to your declarations. Possibilities include: “I’m thankful for the opportunity to discuss politics with everyone,” or “I’m thankful to hear so-and-so’s conspiracy theories again.” The trick here is to sound sincere enough when you say it so that no one is immediately angered by the comment. 

No matter what you do, just have fun and try not to start any fights you can’t win.