Jack Harlow Cancels after Tri-Tater Travesty 

Juliette Gaggini,, Satire Co-Editor

Bucknell University is most famous for two things: its ranking on the list of top party schools and its world renowned food. Obviously, tumultuous times follow among Bucknellians when these two things are challenged. This past January was a tough time for the community with the downtown party ban, but arguably the most challenging times have just now descended upon us like a thick fog.

This past week, a scandal has taken the campus by storm as a classic staple of Bucknell delicacy has been under fire: the tri-taters. Though the tri-taters are just one of many potato options often offered in the dining services, they are certainly a fan-favorite to many. The tri-taters are known for their crispy and crunchy outer shell and their warm delightful potato filling. 

Unfortunately for many, students have begun a revolt after one-morning’s servings of tri-taters were reported to be “soggy.” One student, Tim Sandaly ’23, said, “I woke up last Wednesday morning with a skip in my step knowing I was going to have tri-taters that day. I have never felt more betrayed than when I bit into a cold tri-tater.” 

“It ruined my day immediately, so logically I took to my Instagram story to express my anger and disappointment that the University would serve such a potato and dare to call it a tri-tater,” continued Sandaly. “It’s a bi-tater at best, but likely a mono-tater. Like a tater tot.”

After seeing the news online, a former student, Willy Duscus ’80, reached out to The Bucknellian to express his concern about the scandal which took the internet by storm. “I loved my time at the University, but one memory that stands out to me in particular is how much I enjoyed the tri-taters in the caf. It is such a disappointment to see how the school has taken such a negative turn,” said Duscus. 

Unfortunately for the students, news of the Tri-Tater Travesty reached Hollywood and Jack Harlow, who was scheduled to perform on campus later this April, has decided to cancel his show. Brent Papson has denied comment on these issues. 

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