Study says 4/5 of seniors scrambling for spouse

Aaron Chin, Staff Writer

Studies say that students here at the University are very likely to find their spouse during their time here on campus. More precisely, about one in three people will meet the person that they will marry while here. That’s a staggering statistic. Out of every 1,000 students that attend the University, 333 of them will marry each other. 

This can be hard on some people. For instance, the single people here have it rough. Studies have shown that four out of five of the seniors on campus are scrambling desperately to find their significant other. 

But the single seniors here have found some interesting ways to solve this problem. A lot of the social events on campus have helped people find each other. Others have found other ways of dealing with this. Some seniors have organized a university-wide game based on “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette,” as well as the hit, high quality spinoff series “Bachelor in Paradise.” They have called their version of the reality show “Bachelor in Bucknell.”

The way the reality show on campus works is that one lucky student will be selected to act as either the bachelor or the bachelorette, and other students have to compete against each other to win their affection. Some of these competitions have included rappelling down the ELC, writing a 200-300 page love poem about the selected bachelor/bachelorette, and performing a three hour spoken-word smooth jazz extravaganza at the Weis Center. 

Each contestant also has the chance to take the bachelor/bachelorette on dates, and these dates can be quite extreme. Some dates have included kayaking in the Susquehanna, watching a movie at the Campus Theater, and going skydiving while screaming, peeing their pants, and listening to Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’”.

The way that contestants are eliminated is quite simple. After each round of contests and dates, the bachelor/bachelorette hands out small statues of Bucky the Bison to everyone that they want to remain in the competition. If you don’t get one, you are out. The last student standing wins, and they are the person who ends up being with the bachelor/bachelorette.

The contest has been a rousing success amongst the students, with many seniors successfully finding a significant other after its completion. Whether or not these couples will remain together has yet to be seen. Perhaps we will have some new details after the reality special “After the Final Bucky,” in which all the contestants will spill the beans on the hot drama…

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