Cafsgiving overflow forces students into Samek Museum

Hayley Leopold, Staff Writer

After waiting outside the ELC for over two hours, first-year student Stu Fingh had finally reached the front of the Cafsgiving line.

It was finally his time to utilize the unlimited meal swipes that Bucknell forced him to purchase! To Stu’s dismay, he was stopped at the entrance by two V2 chefs standing guard. Armed with frying pans, they exhibited their impressive karate-esque maneuvers to maintain their blockade.

The on-duty caf workers claimed Bostwick had “reached maximum capacity”, so they redirected Stu towards the Samek Museum. He begrudgingly trudged up the stairs to the deserted third floor of the ELC, which he didn’t even know existed before this past Thursday. Stu’s experience, although tragic, was not unique.

Hundreds of Cafsgiving hopefuls were forced to retrieve their meals from a few measly trays that were placed in the Samek Museum to accommodate for the anticipated overflow.

Furious students vandalized Samek’s most prized exhibitions in protest. Stu repurposed his mashed potatoes to fashion stylish wigs on the figures in Pontormo’s Cupid and Apollo. Not satisfied with this alone, he then ate all of the apples from Atong Atem’s Fruit of the Earth display. 

While many students like Stu expressed their rage in the form of destruction, others felt inspired by their artistic surroundings. One such student was junior Bo Stwick. When Bo glanced down at the Picasso that he was using as a plate, he was moved by the painting’s glorious designs. Wiping off his spilled gravy, Bo examined the brushstrokes and mimicked the motions with his fork.

Students removed Samek’s paintings until all the walls were bare. Those suffering from severe debt after losing the $18.50 they spent on their Cafsgiving entry brought home stolen works to anonymously resell on YikYak. Others, utilizing the newly-blank walls, added their very own abstract art to the museum’s galleries. 

The student-created art pieces were equally creative as they were delicious! Traditional paint and paintbrushes were replaced by leftover turkey bones dipped in tomato soup. To embellish their works, students decorated the walls with vibrant mixed peas and carrots.

The clock struck 10 p.m. – Cafsgiving had officially come to a close. Make sure to stop by the Samek Museum sometime this week to check out the gallery’s newest additions.

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