Easter bunny’s inner thoughts revealed at Q&A event, and they aren’t what you’d expect

Tyler Thrutchley and Colin Michna, Contributing Writers

The Easter Bunny is all over the news, and let’s just say it’s not all rainbows and easter eggs.

Bucknell University hosted a Q&A in which kids in the Lewisburg area were allowed to ask the Easter Bunny questions that came across their curious minds. Unfortunately, the Easter Bunny wasn’t prepared for the type of questions he had to answer.

The minute he walked onto campus, a nine year-old boy named David approached him. “My friends said that they saw my mom dressed in an Easter Bunny costume in my yard. They told me my mommy is the real Easter Bunny. Is this true?”

“Do I sound like your mom to you? Of course not! Do you think your mom has time to deliver eggs all across the world? Just ignore your friends, they don’t know what they’re talking about.”

The Easter Bunny was satisfied with his answer, and he started to walk in the other direction. But David wasn’t finished yet.

“Why is there a zipper on your back?”

This time, the Easter Bunny was stumped. He truly did not know what to say. “Umm…… Well……… alright, listen kid. There is no Easter Bunny. I just wanted to make a quick buck so I threw on this silly costume. Please promise me you won’t tell this to anyone, especially your mother. This i-”

But before he could say another word, David ran off, and his sobs could still be heard minutes later. Next, it was a seven-year-old girl named Sammy.

“How do you deliver eggs across the entire world in one day? Do you have superpowers, Mr. Bunny?”

The Easter Bunny, still annoyed that David couldn’t keep his mouth shut, decided to give as blatantly honest an answer as possible.

“I don’t have superpowers. And I’m not a bunny, either.”

A collective gasp was heard from children and parents alike, as the “Easter Bunny” removed his head, revealing a 35-year-old man with a scraggly beard. Seconds later, President Bravman was seen marching toward the Easter Bunny with angry strides.

“You weren’t supposed to go off script,” he hissed.

The Easter Bunny, whose real name was Brad, simply shrugged. “Can I at least get my money?”

“Get out of here!” Bravman bellowed.

“I’m gonna be a great father,” Brad thought as he confidently walked toward his car.

It’s safe to say that Brad was never invited back to the Q&A event ever again.

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