Graduating seniors give us their Bucknell bucket list before departing

Aaron Chin, Satire Co-Editor

The end of the year can be exciting, especially for the graduating seniors. With bright futures, the graduating class no longer has to worry about poor dining options, ever-increasing tuition and ongoing housing problems.

However, many of them still have unfinished items on the Bucknell Bucket list. Here is are some of those common items:

  1. Steal a smoothie blender from Bostwick

The smoothie bar is one of the most popular destinations at Bostwick. However, most of the seniors won’t be able to afford a blender after graduation because of their student debt, which is why 76% of seniors said that stealing a smoothie blender from Bostwick was high on their bucket list.

“My parents only make $500,000 a year each, plus benefits,” said Rich Kidd, “so there’s no way they are going to buy me a blender after college.”

  1. Complete the 24 Hours in Bostwick challenge

Similar to the consensus on stealing a smoothie blender, many seniors have wondered the same thing: What’s Bostwick like when no one is there? This question has inspired students to complete the 24 Hours in Bostwick challenge, which entails finding a creative way to spend 24 hours in Bostwick without being caught. If you get caught, punishments include having to clean tables for a week or having to man the sandwich line for a month.

Few people have successfully completed this, and what they saw is shrouded in mystery. One student named Nye T. Owl apparently saw Bravman raid the sandwich station and make himself what looked like a $5 footlong from Subway complete with eight pickles, smoked salmon and cat food. Who knows if this was real or not.

  1. Show President Bravman Some Love

Our president works hard to make sure that Bucknell runs smoothly every day, so a lot of seniors want to come up with some creative ways to show President Bravman some appreciation. From celebratory parades to merchandise, the seniors have thought of a lot of ways to honor Bravman before they depart.

A student-led band called “The Bravman Believers” held outdoor concerts right outside of Bravman’s home all throughout the night last Friday, only playing songs that supported our tuition rising exponentially. For instance, one lyric was “We love rising tuition, even if that’s not our intuition.”

A student group also organized a Bravman parade in downtown Lewisburg complete with Bravman floats, balloons and merchandise. The group bought Bravman’s likeness for the mere price of three million dollars, with the funds coming from a ten-year-long campaign. When asked whether he supported selling himself out for money and asking his students to pay ridiculous sums of cash, Bravman said, “I am fully on board!”

And there you have it, folks. For the underclassmen, take the words of the graduating class and be sure to add these items to your Bucknell bucket list!

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