She said: the perils of texting after a hookup

Sarah Morris

The time after that first hook up is like skating on very thin ice. The wrong text message at the wrong time, a wave across the quad or the uncomfortable moment when you’re next to your hook up in line at the mail room can shatter the ice and leave you drowning in freezing cold awkwardness.

Everything is fantastic when you’re with your hook up at night. The lights are flashing, the music is awesome even though you hate top-40 songs, but just like Cinderella had to leave the ball at midnight, your fun will come to an end. Probably not until 12 p.m. the next day when you stumble out of your bed, but it will end, and what comes next can determine a lot about what will come of your new found affections.

Texting is a huge part of post-hook up courtship and it needs to be dealt with gracefully depending on what you want out of your significant other. To be graceful, you really need to pay attention to your timing. A “Wanna hang out?” text at 7:30 p.m. probably actually means: “Do you want to come hang out with me?”

However, that same text at 1:30 a.m. probably means: “Do you want to come hook up with me?” Obviously, the 1:30 a.m. text isn’t a problem per se, but it might limit you to only receiving texts from that person in the future at late hours of the night. It’ll probably get you a good time, but your 1:30 a.m. texts will not get you a relationship that involves wearing clothes.

It is also important when you have a late night hook up to remember that people might have mixed feelings regarding your wonderful night together. You never want to get caught up in that situation where you end up making out with a long-time friend, who then decides to tell you that he or she has been in love with you ever since you met.

It might hurt, but it is crucial to be upfront with hook ups if you don’t see it going anywhere and they clearly do. Likewise, if you think your hook up is your potential life-partner, it is probably a good idea to ease into any serious romantic gestures with them. God forbid you’re the creepy one.

You always have to remember that every interaction you have will plant the seeds to relationships based on more than just the memory of the night in “fratland” you and your hook up shared. Just because they had a super time, doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want to them with out looking like a stalker or a complete headcase. Just take a deep breath, relax and tell yourself that you’re fantastic; and then don’t be creepy, just be nice.

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