El McCabe

Staff Writer

It is possibly one of the worst feelings in the world to break up with your significant other. In a flash, those memories of your partner that once brought a smile to your face now make you feel like crawling in a small ditch and staying there for a while. While there are some breakups that are indeed mutual and clean, the majority of breakups are emotionally taxing and uncomfortable. As a result, partners usually turn to the practice of “ex sex” to cope with these inevitable changes and to get a taste of the old emotional/sexual connection they once had.

The connotation of sex is hardly ever the same for both partners. While some students would agree that sex is a very emotional and intimate process, others would argue that sex is merely a physical process that should come with no strings attached. The only way to be on the same page or know for sure what sex means to your partner is by talking about it, a topic of discussion highly unlikely to come up when you broke up and haven’t spoken for months.

Not surprisingly then, “ex sex” is often a byproduct of miscommunication and becomes a painful reminder of your partner and the downfall of the relationship. It is very common for one partner to assume that “makeup sex” is going to lead to the restoration of the relationship and that it signifies that his or her ex wants to get back together. This is rarely the case; even if the “ex sex” does lead to the couple taking another stab at the relationship, the issues that broke them up are more than likely to surface again.

Even though these potential side effects of “ex sex” can contain some serious baggage, students and even adult couples are drawn to it. The idea of rekindling a strong emotional and intimate connection with a past flame sounds enticing, and it’s the kind of material discussed in many of those sappy yet borderline trashy romance novels. As discussed before, some partners assume sex will hold the same meaning it did when they were together, and therefore have the ability to repair the broken relationship.

Finally, for those placing less value on “ex sex” the process could just be one last time to have fun with someone you were/still are attracted to physically, but not emotionally.

Despite these tempting assumptions and ideas, it is safe to say that “ex sex” has more potential negative effects than positive ones. If you are simply looking for a good time, there are plenty of other outlets to explore other than your last significant other, and if you are looking for something with more of an emotional connection, start building that with someone who has not hurt you in the past. At the very least, pursuing other options will save both of you a lot of time and pain in the grand scheme of things.