Trump panics upon realizing he actually has to run the country

Madeline Diamond and Courtney Wren, Senior Editor and Satire Editor

The glamour of the approximately 17-month-long campaign has faded and it has recently become apparent to president-elect Donald Trump that he will actually have to run the United States.

So much of Trump’s focus has been on winning the presidency that the actual responsibilities of the job have been largely forgotten.  In a rare moment of clarity between late Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning, we imagine Trump finally realized he’s in too deep.

The next leader of the free world will have to sit through briefings, debriefings, and countless other –ings. He’ll have to shake hands with commoners and kiss ugly babies when he’d rather be at home watching reruns of “The Apprentice” and that “Access Hollywood” tape. He’ll have to pretend he actually enjoys spending time with his youngest son, Baron, and play ceremonial games of catch with him on the White House lawn. He’ll even have to get a dog and give it a politically correct name.

Trump didn’t plan this far ahead, and now the prospect of completing these tasks appears rather daunting. Stay tuned for updates.

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