UPDATE: University hires penguins to demonstrate proper ice-walking technique

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

Members of the campus community swarmed the uphill ELC lawn on Feb. 7 when a group of animal trainers and University administrators presented a group of emperor penguins as part of a winter safety program.

The penguins and their handlers were brought to campus by the University Safety Commission (USC) in order to give students an in-depth tutorial on how to walk safely in icy winter conditions. The information session was counted for First-year Integration Series (FYIS) credit.

“When I first saw the penguins I was confused,” Amy Eiffel ’19 said. “But once I saw that the USC was there, I realized they were going to try to make us waddle like penguins again.”

Eiffel was not the only student concerned about the intentions of the penguins’ visit.

“Look, I’m an animal behavior major,” Kevin Jury ’18 said. “And I love penguins. ‘March of the Penguins’ is arguably one of the greatest feature films of our generation. However, there is no way in hell that I’m going to waddle like a penguin in order to appease the University’s fear of lawsuits. I’m a human. I have standards.”

Despite most students’ skepticism regarding the penguin waddling lesson, the USC remained steadfast in its support of the program.

“Our number one priority is to keep you kids safe, and penguins are a great example for us all,” USC Chairman Jude Lawyer said. “Have you ever heard of a penguin filing a slip-and-fall lawsuit? I didn’t think so.”

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