The List: 14 University-themed pickup lines that are guaranteed to never work

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Lane Mayher, Contributing Writer

1. Want to go to the quiet section of the library and make some noise?

2. *Knocks on door* “RA on duty.”

3. Oh, you’re a first-year? We should go to Bostwick Marketplace. You could swipe me in.

4. Do you want me to press your Bison Wrap?

5. Are you in the KLARC? Because I want to see you sweat.

6. I can fill up your S’well.

7. Want to be late to your Thursday morning 8 a.m.?

8. You can skip Bison REC yoga; I’ll help you get your stretch in.

9. You have a package waiting for you at Student Mail Services.

10. *At Super* Want to commit a party foul with me?

11. I can lead you through more than just New Student Orientation.

12. I’d manage you in Taylor Hall.

13. Want to get lost in the Grove?

14. You live in Roberts Hall? You must be fine.

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