On the morning of Feb. 28, Fat Tuesday, known to many as Mardi Gras, filed for a legal name change at the New Orleans Civil District Court. On the front steps of City Hall, Tuesday addressed reporters with close friends, Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, beside him.

“The word fat is a venomous word with derogatory implications. Every day I have to wake up and feel lesser than my peers,” Tuesday said.

“People scream, ‘Happy Fat Tuesday!’ But how can I be happy when my weight is constantly shoved in my face? From now on, I’d prefer it if you would all address me by the new name I’ve chosen, Chad. Thank you and I wish you all a Happy Chad Tuesday.”

Chad declined to field any questions but handed beads out to those in attendance. Ash Wednesday refused to autograph any foreheads and told everyone to wait at least until after Wednesday.