The List: Highly recommended ways to introduce yourself at a career fair

  1. Throw a paper airplane made from your resume across the room.

  2. Slip a $20 into their hands when you shake hands.

  3. Break into a four verse song explaining why you want to work there.

  4. Somersault up to the desired booth.

  5. Speak only in Pig Latin.

  6. Ask the company representative where they summer.

  7. Offer up a plate of cookies.

  8. Offer up your first born child.

  9. Tell them that you’re qualified to work there because your parents work there.

  10. Start crying in an attempt to look sympathetic–wind up just looking pathetic.

  11. Ask them how their Aunt June is.

  12. Offer to be their coffee person if they just give you a job.

  13. Play odds 1-5 that they give you a job.

  14. Tell them that you will give them $15,000 for a job (for a $20,000/year position).

  15. Just smile and wave.

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