Senior student asked to apply to be an Orientation Assistant mortally offended


Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

The ELC Mall is usually filled with various student organizations tabling for events while passersby aggressively avoid eye contact. During the week of March 6, however, the gauntlet-like stretch was taken over by a sea of orange T-shirts, indicating that the deadline for Orientation Assistant (OA) applications was fast approaching.

Cooper Price-Waterhouse ’19, an enthusiastic student who was an OA in 2016, was tasked with recruiting students to apply to what he called “the most life-changing experience a University student can have.”

Kelly Accenture ’17 attempted to avoid Price-Waterhouse and his army of other OAs on March 6 by ignoring their pointed looks and inviting body language, but she was still accosted by several orange-clad students as she walked from one end of the ELC Mall to the other while retrieving a package from Student Mail Services.

“Some kid asked me if I had applied yet to be an OA,” Accenture said. “I could barely hear him over ‘Stacy’s Mom’ blasting on their speakers, but I knew what he meant.”

Accenture, who applied to be an OA her sophomore year and was rejected, has been bitter about the program ever since.

“I told him that I’m a senior and his expression went blank. It was like he never expected someone would say anything but ‘yes, I’d love to apply!’ I DID apply! And I would’ve been the chillest OA ever,” Accenture said.

Although Accenture had glowing reviews of her experience as a first-year with OAs, Accenture said she “didn’t want to be one anyway. If someone said ‘Hey, Kelly, shake your booty,’ I would have given them the finger.”

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