MGMT 101 student promises this is seriously the last survey ever guys and it will only take 1.2 seconds


Courtney Wren, Satire Editor

Lewisburg, Pa.—Following his professor’s announcement that they really need to get more responses to their MGMT 101 survey, Hank Fitzgerald ’20 told reporters Thursday that he was really struggling to come up with new ways to trick people into taking his survey. Fitzgerald’s company is selling an orange and blue Juul e-cigarette.

“Honestly, I feel like I have nothing left to give at this point—this class should be worth more than one credit,” Fitzgerald said, explaining that he’s already posted in all of the Facebook groups 11 times and has had his roommate take it six times in a row just to amp up their responses.

“I mean at this point … I guess I’ll just post in the Facebook group again and promise that it’s the last survey ever and that it will only take 1.2 seconds. Yeah. That’ll probably work,” Fitzgerald said.

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