Roommate throws out all of roommate’s belongings that littered the floor

Courtney Wren, Satire Editor

LEWISBURG, PA—In a fit of rage over the state of their Vedder Hall double, Julia Judd-House ’20 told reporters on Tuesday that she took all of her roommate’s items that weren’t in her dresser and threw them in the dumpster outside of their dorm.

“I just don’t understand what she doesn’t understand,” Judd-House said, explaining that she’s given her roommate multiple warnings and has brought up the threat of lighting her stuff on fire multiple times, to no avail.

“I mean her shoes had been sitting right in the doorway for six days. It was clearly time for me to take action,” Judd-House said. Adding to her rage was the fact that her roommate didn’t seem affected by all of her things being thrown out. She just laughed and dumped all of the contents of her New Yorker tote bag on the floor.

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