President Trump reveals prototype wall built solely out of Legos

Charles Beers, Satire Co-Editor

Political leaders and activists were stunned this weekend when President Donald Trump unveiled an early prototype of his proposed border wall. The first installation presented in San Diego, Calif. was built entirely of red Lego bricks, equipped with several life-size Lego border police officers to patrol the perimeter of the towering five-foot barrier. According to Dr. Legoo-Maiyeggo, the official representative from the Lego Group heading the construction project, over 100 trillion Lego bricks will be needed to completely separate the southern border of the United States from Mexico.

“When the president called us to start work on the project, we were all floored,” Maiyeggo said. “It will be the strongest feat of architecture in modern American history, as the entire wall will be built with those 1 x 2 plates that stick together until the end of time itself.”

The Lego Border Wall initiative faced many obstacles on its journey to Congressional approval. According to Press Secretary Sarah Sanders, Trump asked for an instruction manual with fewer words and more pictures as he attempted to assemble his “bigly” portion of the wall.

“He wouldn’t let anyone help him,” Sanders said. “It took him a few hours to get the hang of stacking the bricks one on top of the other, but I believe that the President’s tenacity truly shined through.”

After the first section of the wall was cleared for use, Trump was outraged when he found two of the Lego figures, one black and one white, kneeling atop the cherry red wall as the national anthem rang across the land. Almost immediately thereafter, Trump took to Twitter to profess his outrage at this political statement from the plastic border officers.

“Fake Lego cops disrespected their plastic American flag,” Trump tweeted. “Putting them in time-out in my Lego Death Star until further notice. Sad!”

 

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