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A night with the presidents turns into fierce rap battle

Graphic by Jared Shapiro

Graphic by Jared Shapiro

Charles Beers, Satire Co-Editor

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“A Night with the Presidents,” featuring University President and President of Bucknell Student Government (BSG), took an unexpected turn on Nov. 5 in the Weis Center for the Performing Arts. The discussion started smoothly with well-written introductions from both presidents, but soon descended into chaos when the lights dimmed and a DJ who had been hiding in the corner of the Weis Center started playing hardcore rap beats.

“I thought it was a joke,” Emma Nem ’21 said. “But then the strobe lights came out and they started rapping about the positive changes BSG had enacted. It was honestly terrifying.”

According to well-placed sources within the administration, both presidents thought it best to start a dialogue through an “Epic Rap Battle,” thus appealing to youth culture and making their message all the more powerful.

“Tonight’s not a lecture, it’s a conversation,” the BSG president rapped. “No more worries ‘bout communication.”

The raps covered a variety of topics, including the establishment of an emergency training program for the faculty, the formulation of a response to the termination of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) policy, and the completion of the “WE DO” fundraising campaign. However, no one could hear the discussion after a particularly aggressive bass drop.

“If I had to describe the music, I would say it was a mix of Kendrick, Eminem, and the Little Einsteins all rolled up into one really uncomfortable package,” John Elton ’18 said. “I appreciated the transparency and all, but I think I have tinnitus now.”

The lyrics turned controversial once the University president began addressing elements of the semester that have received criticism from the student body, including the rising costs of private education and claims of increasingly stringent regulations against Greek life on campus. However, the audience seemed to approve of his soulful inflections when it was his turn to take the spotlight.

“We’re concerned with burnin’ bank accounts/but the learnin’ burden is our mission,” the University President rapped with fiery, dulcet tones. “We’re educationally efficacious/but it’s an expensive proposition.”

The University President went on to defend his beliefs regarding Greek life and his disappointment with its unique association with the University social scene.

“Frats have been ruining themselves/since 2000 we’ve kicked off only two,” the University President rapped. “Plus we drowned the swim team’s emails/and the Bison Chips are through.”

On the whole, student feedback to the event has been positive. While the lyrics and general tone of the rap battle were criticized by students, most could not deny the sincerity of their verses.

“They asked us all who won and who’s next once it was all over,” Elton said. “Personally, I think the school won tonight.”

The presidents’ first album, “To Pimp a Bison,” will be distributed in the ELC next week, along with a complimentary scoop of We Dough ice-cream provided by Ben & Jerry’s.

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The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University
A night with the presidents turns into fierce rap battle