This year’s satire in 280-character tweets


Charles Beers, Satire Co-Editor

On Nov. 7, Twitter officially announced that its users could tweet messages 280 characters long, doubling its previous number of 140 characters. While responses to the decision have been mixed, with notable authors such as J.K. Rowling and Stephen King going to great lengths to criticize the expansion, there is no denying that this newfound flexibility will change the art of tweeting forever.

To pay recognition to this pivotal moment in social media history, we have taken this year’s satire articles and formatted them into 280-character tweets:

“University announces Academic NNW in downtown Lewisburg. Plans to destroy all buildings from Vedder to Bull Run. Students confused. Quidditch is new official varsity sport. Faculty to host Super Saturday guest lectures with their families. #westwardexpansion #WeStillDo” -@bucknelliansatire

“Prof. Albert Cohall left classroom for five minutes to go to bathroom. Returned to find unopened bottle of Smirnoff Ice on chair. Chugged whole thing. Minds blown. Cohall declared hero by students. #5.8seconds #legendsneverdie” -@bucknelliansatire


“First-years attempt conversation through Cards Against Humanity.

Morgan: Describe your current academic schedule.

Harry: Stephen Hawking talking dirty.

Harry: If you could invite a guest lecturer to campus, who would it be?

Morgan: Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting.”



“Ben & Jerry’s announces new University flavor, ft. nacho tots and chocolate-oreo mix. Parker Bros. announce new University-themed board game: Bucknellopoly. Fraternities announce downtown sauna initiative. #capitalism #alovestory” -@bucknelliansatire


“Bucknellian sitcom picked up by NBC. Editor-in-Chief prepares for her big break. Assistant to the Editor-in-Chief fights to rename official position. Chaos ensues. #Flonkerton” -@bucknelliansatire

(Visited 109 times, 1 visits today)