Student elated to have been struck by University vehicle

Bridget Beljan, Contributing Writer

Jon Snow ’21 was hit in the side by a University-owned vehicle during the snowstorm that struck Buffalo Valley on Jan. 16.

“The intersection of Moore Avenue and Seventh Street was like Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road. Cars were slipping left and right onto the sidewalks,” Mandy Lee ’19 said.

Snow was reportedly heading to the Elaine Langone Center from Vedder Hall to “meet the boys for a solid Caf dinner.” Rather than using the designated crosswalks, Snow cut diagonally across the intersection to minimize his exposure to the elements. (Snow is a notorious hypochondriac, having visited the Student Health Center a record 30 times last semester.) As he darted across the intersection, the truck skidded into his side, launching him into an adjacent snowbank. The driver was able to avoid further damage by directing his vehicle into the section of Zipcars parked near the intersection.

Upon impact, Snow was ecstatic to have been struck. As is University policy, he is now able to receive a fully subsidized education for the remainder of his time here.

“I’m thankful that I’m not too hurt. I’ll hopefully be able to recover quickly, so I can take advantage of my full scholarship,” Snow said, “I’m just glad that no one else got hurt. It’s a good thing that nobody uses those Zipcars.”

Snow is now considering graduate school here at the University if the policy persists.

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