University parent’s petition to bring back first-year “sadness cookies”

With the hopes of ending their fabulous four-year experience the way they began it, parents of University seniors have recently petitioned to University President John Bravman and the Bostwick Marketplace to bring back the University smiley-face cookie that had been distributed after Bravman’s welcome address to the new parents at New Student Orientation.

When asked about the treat, an orange-icing cookie with a blue smile on top, senior parents were quick to describe how it saved them from the throes of depression after dropping off their children.

“Never had a cookie had such an impact on me,” Alice Entenmann, a parent of a University senior, said. “President Bravman had just finished telling the weeping masses that their children were in good hands, when we were gifted a token of sugary happiness. It almost made me forget my daughter was leaving me forever.”

Now, four years later, with some anonymous moms still holding onto their original shrink-wrapped treasure, there is a definite call to action for fresh cookies. Bostwick Marketplace and a group of concerned board members wholeheartedly agreed to move forward to bring the nostalgic treats back to Bison parents. “Buy a Sweet University Smile” order forms will be available for Family Weekend 2018 and Commencement 2019.

“As long as the cookie is smiling, I’m smiling too,” Jon Keebler, father of University twins, said with a forced smile.

Parents can now dispose of their rock-hard reminders from their child’s first year, and try not to burst into tears as they indulge in freshly-baked Bison confections at a reasonable price. The cookies will go on sale at the end of Family Weekend, at which time delivery people will place the treats in the cars of the newly-sobbing parents as they leave their kids behind one more time.

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