Bull Run Trivia Night offered as senior quarter-credit class

Charles Beers, Satire Editor

Recognizing the public demand for more quarter-credit opportunities that engage the Lewisburg community, the University has announced its decision to offer a Bull Run Trivia Night elective for all eligible seniors in the spring. The course, taught by Associate Professor of Fun Facts and Mixology Drew Brews, will focus on having students learn as much random trivia as possible over the course of a semester. After three months, they are expected to take the top prize at Bull Run’s weekly competition.

“It’s satisfying to see the University acknowledge the need for this underappreciated method of learning,” Brews said, nursing his third pitcher of Shock Top. “You can take as many arts, sciences, engineering, and management courses as you want, but sometimes, what you really need to know to get ahead in the world is the net worth of Kim Kardashian.”

The response to this course announcement was both swift and unanimously positive. According to the Registrar’s Office, more than half of the Class of 2019 has expressed their desire to apply for a seat in the Bull Run classroom.

“I was surprised when I heard the news,” Bud Wiser ’19 said. “Before this, the University didn’t really offer many courses that counted towards my Fun Facts minor. I’m glad that we have a voice now, and that people can finally learn which East Coast state has the longest coastline.”

When asked about how he planned on grading written assignments at Bull Run, or if there was even a grading policy at all, Brews responded by ordering yet another pitcher. After several aggressive bouts of hiccups, Brews commented on the impact his lessons will have on the student body.

“What do employers really want to see on a resume?” Brews asked. “Is it a proven ability to work with others, experience in their desired field, and the necessary skills to make a difference at their new company? No. They want a list of the Top 10 Bison facts. Guaranteed.”

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