University announces Taco Tuesdays, catastrophe after overzealous senior spills meat juice

Graphics+by+Olivia+Braito.

Olivia Braito, Graphics Manager.

Graphics by Olivia Braito.

Lewis Rizzoli, Staff Writer

Everyone loves food-themed days of the week. No matter how many times you wipe out on black ice on your way to class, no matter how many parking tickets you received after not seeing the “Staff Only” sign in the parking lot, no matter how late you walk into your 8 a.m. lecture while everyone, including the professor, stares at you, there is always a delicious meal to look forward to at the end of the day.

 

After the overwhelming success of Mac and Cheese Mondays, the Bison decided to promote “Taco Tuesdays” every Tuesday at 6:30 p.m., starting this past week. For five Dining Dollars, you can buy three tacos with all of the toppings the Mexican station has to offer.

 

Initial interviews with students have demonstrated significant interest in the plan.

 

“Taco Tuesdays perfectly complement my Tequila Tuesdays. Now my drinking habits seem more like following a theme than a problem!” Bradley Bradfordson ’20 said.

 

Other students have expressed high expectations for the new taco selections.

 

“These tacos better be good because I’m quite the critic,” Westford Santa Angeles ’20 said. “I grew up surfing and eating the best Mexican food in the world in Santa Monica. If these tacos are not up to par, Dining Services will be hearing from my attorney.”

 

The inaugural Taco Tuesday took place this past week. The Bison was buzzing with students from every class year wearing their favorite sombreros and cowboy boots. According to staff who were at the scene, the line stretched all the way down to Student Mail Services. At the front of the line was Sarah Wellington ’19.

 

When the station finally opened, Wellington made a beeline for the carnitas. However, she could not stop her forward momentum and knocked all of the meat onto the floor and her new jeans. The accident caused the Bison to turn into total chaos. What was supposed to be a great dining promotion turned into a multicultural food fight. Wellington has not been available for comment since the incident.

 

Despite this setback, Dining Services remains optimistic that next Tuesday will be a new day with a more successful taco celebration.

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