Tip #81

Help. Please help. I’m running out of ideas so fast.

Tip #82

If you’re tired of your typical sweaty mixers, head down to your local gas station to fill your tank with cold beer in relaxing subzero temperatures. I have also been told there is free valet parking.

Tip #83

Ice is the natural enemy of crutches. If you found yourself injured this semester, just take the L and drop out of your classes until the streets are less slippery. The University always approves of winter sabbaticals.

Tip #84

Whenever I’m about to write something, I think “Would an idiot write that?” And if they would, I write that thing.

Tip #12345678909

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyways. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.