Student receives Valentine’s chocolate from anonymous suitors who don’t go here

Amy Schlussler, Senior writer

The exciting holiday for some, but dreaded holiday for most, has come and gone once again this year. Valentine’s Day marks those lovely 24 hours when many students stay locked up in their rooms to avoid being reminded of their lack of a love life. Yet, this Valentine’s Day was out of the ordinary for some, including Sarah Sweetie ’19.


Sweetie was one of the many who had been dreading Feb. 14. She recently underwent a breakup with her boyfriend of three weeks and wasn’t prepared to witness students flashing their bouquets of roses in the Bison.


The Bucknellian spoke with Sweetie after hearing about her unusual holiday.


“I didn’t expect to receive anything this Valentine’s Day after my agonizing breakup. Whilst sulking in my room, I received an email from the University reading ‘YOU HAVE A PACKAGE’” Sweetie said. “I immediately ran to the mail center to claim my prize. I was hoping it was Baked by Melissa from my mom, but I then remembered she doesn’t send me packages now that I’m a senior. I was shocked to find a cheap box of chocolates, resembling those sold at the local CVS, in the package.”


Sweetie showed the University’s investigative team the box she had received. Her name was printed on the box in handwriting she said she recognized from somewhere, but was unsure of whose it was. The investigative team found the lack of a return address on the package to be even more bizarre.


“I immediately called my best friend. After showing her the package, she knew exactly who it was from,” Sweetie said.


The anonymous suitor happened to have the same handwriting as the waiter the two girls had earlier that week at Bull Run Tap House. He wrote a promiscuous note to Sweetie on her receipt upon their visit, clearly expressing his interest in her.


The University’s investigative team conducted DNA tests on the package and were able to confirm that the package was sent from Walter Wing of Bull Run. Wing refused to speak with The Bucknellian regarding the situation.

Sweetie was flattered by the gesture and has scheduled a date in the near future with Wing in hopes of seeking a new romance.

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