Student stalks employment recruiters

Lewis Rizzoli, Contributing Writer

From the Employer Expo to the networking luncheon, there have been countless opportunities to finally get the job that the CDC-turned-CCA has been promising you for the past four years. 

As his third senior year began, it became alarmingly apparent to Jacob Munez ’20 that his parents would not support his foreseeable future as a sixth-year.

Last year, Munez’s ability to shotgun three-and-a-half beers in under 30 seconds, in addition to his impressive record of 25 Fortnite wins and never losing a game of Die, did not resonate with employers.

They seemed to seek skills more along the lines of Microsoft Excel proficiency, a working knowledge of data analytics, and demonstrated leadership, among other “seemingly useless experiences,” in Munez’s opinion.

Munez, aware of the upcoming career fair, decided to do some extensive research on his potential new employers. 

Using a variety of platforms, Jacob found out that HSBC representative, Mike Gardiner, had a mother named Mary, belonged to an acapella group in college, and was staying at the Country Inn and Suites in Lewisburg. 

With this newfound knowledge, Munez decided to visit Gardiner the night before the Employer Expo. 

Gardiner was woken up at 11:45 p.m. when a “tall student with blonde dreadlocks, wearing a tie-dye shirt, knocked on my door.”

When Gardiner inquired as to how and why Munez found the room, he stated that he did prior research and was there to demonstrate interest. 

“How is my girl Mary doing?” asked Munez. “I heard you were in an a cappella group during college! That’s pretty tight, I do some some acapella myself–spitting BROCKHAMPTON in the shower is my niche.” 

By the end of their conversation, Munez felt confident that he left a lasting impression. Instead, he left with a pending restraining order. 

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