How to get the best use out of your last two brain cells

Bridgette Simpson, Contributing Writer


  1. Have them fight to the death–Battle Royale! 
  2. Wait in the stir fry line until you get to the front and then decide you want a quesadilla.  
  3. Destroy them both by drinking copious amounts of alcohol at this week’s Super.
  4. Have them argue over whether you’ll get hot or cold coffee this morning. 
  5. Try to recall as much information for your exam as possible, but plot twist! Fail it anyway. 
  6. Make them listen to Two Friends and A Boogie songs until you don’t want to go to the concert anymore.
  7. Have them spend three hours deciding whether to go out or not go out–until it’s too late to make a decision for yourself.
  8. Memorize five brothers so you don’t look like an idiot to the guy at the door.
  9. Make them give you reminders every few seconds to breathe.
  10. Use them to try to figure out why the University decided to implement DUO this year.
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