Stop school: It’s too cold

Nick DeMarchis, Staff Writer

Look, I’m not about to tell you that it’s too cold. But, it’s just too cold right now. 

You know that feeling when you walk outside and you feel that instant pain as your ears and nose threaten to leave your face forever? The wind that somehow permeates through your layers upon layers of Canada Goose feathers and leaves your bones feeling colder than the ice cubes that cost 25 cents each at the Bison?

Look, I know we can’t change the weather, but it’s just too cold, right? Like, it’s too cold. Do you get what I mean?

This time last year there was actually snow on the ground. I have pictures on my phone — that proves it. And it was cold then. But you know when it’s cold? Now. It’s cold right now and it’s too cold all of the time. Even though there’s no snow on the ground, it can still be cold, like it is right now. Right now, it’s cold. Too cold.

The Adirondack chairs are still out there. To taunt us. Leading us to the naive belief that it’s not too cold right now. Along with the fact that it’s also sunny outside a lot of the time. “Just study outside, the chairs are right there, the sun is beaming and it’s a beautiful day!” these distressing chairs advertise. But no, because it’s too cold. It’s not just cold… it’s too cold.

I actually got out of bed this morning. And, after I did that, I showered. And then after shivering in my towel, I got dressed and went outside. And you know how it felt when I stepped outside? Cold. Too cold.

I’m from Pennsylvania but it’s too cold to be going to school right now; I think I’m going to go home and drop out. Because it’s too cold.

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