Bucknellian web traffic kills showers, raises spirits after first 2020 issue

Nick DeMarchis, Senior Writer

The moment that the entirety of central Pennsylvania awaited with bated breath finally occurred last Friday: the newest issue of The Bucknellian. Being thrown to newsstands and front doors all across the world, messages of Rainn Wilson’s upcoming appearance and the Community Service & Involvement Fair delighted so many University-lovers.

Website views smashed through the roof, said site manager Andy Arbuckle ’21. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first noticed the analytics. We got triple-digits on an article about Megxit. Almost 200 people on the site in total last week. Now that’s something, let me tell you,” Arbuckle said.

University servers buckled under the simultaneous load of over a dozen users. Multiple internet and water outages were reported in Smith Hall and the 7th Street House. This was due, according to University IT officials, to the servers “absorbing the University’s bandwidth and needing excessive water cooling to deal with the traffic.”

Students showering during this episode reported strange occurrences. Smithian Alice Algers ’23 reported the water “went from hot to cold and back again, like someone was repeatedly refreshing a website to keep the views up.” (After thorough research, The Bucknellian found absolutely no evidence to substantiate those claims.)

While the events of last week may have proved a tragedy for some students just trying to keep clean, editors see it as a success. Editor-in-Chief Tara Bald ’20 told reporters for The Bucknellian that “We are only emboldened to write more content that people want to see. We are still figuring out ways to get more TikToks and Billie Eilish into print form. Anyways, from everyone here at The Bucknellian, a firm ‘kudos!’ to everyone at The Bucknellian.”

Hopefully, this issue of excellence foreshadows continued success, so that this paper can actually keep existing for generations to come.

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