Senioritis hits University campus

Franz Schauer, Contributing Writer

Spring break marks the halfway point in the spring semester. For many college students, this means warmer weather, longer days and seeing the sun for what seems like the first time in months. For seniors on campus, however, it also means the return of a disease that finds its way to school every year: Senioritis.

One of the first warning signs is insisting that any work can be put off until the hungover morning that it is due. Other symptoms of Senioritis include: forgetting about assignments until the last minute, turning in assignments late and not turning in any assignments at all.

Professor Helen Williams recently assigned a five-page paper and received a submission from a senior student that was simply their name, a title and five blank pages. The name was spelled incorrectly and the title had nothing to do with the assigned topic.

Senior courses have been absolutely decimated by this disease, with attendance in higher-level courses starting to seem more like attendance for a Friday morning 8 a.m. Some professors have begun implementing what is known as “taking attendance,” a relic that most have not seen since high school.

Professor Bill Pitcher teaches a course on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 2 p.m. with mostly seniors in the class.

“Now that the semester is halfway over, I’ve seen a steep drop-off in attendance for my class. I teach a 20-person class and I can reliably expect less than five students to show up. These students are all juniors.”

According to the student health center, nearly 30% of seniors are already experiencing symptoms of Senioritis this year, but the numbers are suspected to grow exponentially after spring break. Thankfully, this disease is contained within the senior class and isn’t exhibiting any signs of transferring to any other grades on campus.

Interestingly, fifth-year students who aren’t in their final year experience next to no signs of Senioritis, though the majority of their friend groups have been overtaken by the disease. Fifth-years in their final year, however, are experiencing much worse symptoms. After being forced to go to class for nearly five years, these students are hardly ever spotted in academic buildings and have less than a 10% attendance rate in classes.

Many University officials are now worried that Senioritis may cause a drastic drop in grades during the final exam period. If you or a friend are exhibiting any signs of Senioritis, please contact Student Health as soon as possible.

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