BREAKING: Voting is not hard

Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor

Voting can be hard, but there are so many things that are harder. If you can get through any of these 10 tasks, then you should be more than capable of voting.


Leaving a frat without mud stains.

Seriously, how does all that dirt get in there? But if you’ve successfully navigated this cesspool, then you clearly have the skillset to figure out how to vote. 


Taking a nap.

Anxiety caused by the world ending can make it incredibly hard to fall asleep. Pop a few melatonin capsules, get some shut-eye and roll up to your polling location with the goal of changing the world.


Doing a 50-piece puzzle.

Start with the edges, then work inward, then request your absentee ballot.  


Throwing that Dunkin’ cup away that’s been in your cup holder for two weeks.

The hardest part is acknowledging it’s there. Your passengers will thank you for it, and so will all lovers of democracy when you cast your ballot on Nov. 3.


Brushing your teeth.

Hopefully, you already do this twice a day. You know what you only need to do once every four years if you only care about the general presidential election? Vote.


Cutting an onion.

The tears that come with it? Come on, that’s rough. But you know what’s even more rough? The tears that come from the regret of not voting after your preferred candidate isn’t elected.


Putting your t-shirt in your laundry basket.

It’s been laying across the back of your desk chair all day in hopes of being hung up again for another future wear between washes. Just wash it, and then wash your conscience clean for being uninvolved in politics by casting your ballot.


Getting out of bed.

This one can be a little tricky, but we do it most days. Get out of bed on the first Tuesday of November with the conviction to vote.


Ordering on DoorDash.

Between picking the restaurant, and then getting your friends to Venmo you, and then walking down to pick up the food, the whole ordeal can kind of be a lot. At least with voting, there’s pretty much only two options to choose from.


Reading this article.

Literacy is super hard, but you made it this far. You got through one of the tasks, so you can go vote. Please vote.

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