First-year student realizes parents not cool with binge drinking at home Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor December 1, 2021
Student still chasing high of being called “a pleasure to have in class” Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor November 17, 2021
OK, Boomer: University senior feeling really washed up Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor November 10, 2021
Student loses all sense of collectivism after learning she is in top 10% of class Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor November 3, 2021
Bold! Student Denounces Dictatorships in Moodle Forum Post Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor October 20, 2021
Faculty and Staff Turn to Yik Yak to Enhance Campus Life Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor September 8, 2021
Shocking! Activities Fair Less Interesting Than Super Saturday Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor September 1, 2021
Ambitious student already preparing to explain failing grades to parents Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor May 5, 2021
Black Lives Matter girlfriend, Blue Lives Matter boyfriend team up to make history’s most insufferable couple Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor April 28, 2021
Taylor Swift’s re-released album sparks nationwide breakups Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor April 21, 2021
That girl you hate posted on Instagram – here’s what to comment Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor April 7, 2021
Shocking truth about COVID-19 vaccination that the government won’t tell you! Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor March 31, 2021
Tragic: Students “de-commit” after actually visiting University Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor March 17, 2021
Breaking: Guy who gets zero playing-time furious about postponement of spring sports Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor March 3, 2021
Neat! Democrats finally give credit where credit’s due Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor February 17, 2021
BREAKING NEWS: Aunt calls for resignations of Biden, Harris Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor February 10, 2021
Amazing: Biden wears rainbow pin while allowing conversion therapy Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor November 4, 2020
University takes note of Lewisburg penitentiary culture Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor September 23, 2020
University students find new locations to spread COVID Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor September 9, 2020
Christmas music cases divisive split throughout University Liz Whitmer, Staff Writer November 8, 2019
Billy Goat uncovers cruelty while people-watching at University Liz Whitmer, Contributing Writer October 31, 2019
Sesame Street teaches children — and adults — how to handle hardship Liz Whitmer, Contributing Writer October 25, 2019
Library kittens try to scratch their way to the top Liz Whitmer, Contributing Writer September 26, 2019
University ban on flavored gum causes some sticky situations Liz Whitmer, Contributing Writer September 19, 2019
Skunk wreaks havoc on campus, causing university student to reek Liz Whitmer, Contributing Writer September 12, 2019
