Bold! Student Denounces Dictatorships in Moodle Forum Post

Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor

While contributing to Moodle forum posts in lieu of a standard assignment has been marked the bane of many students’ existences, every once in a while someone comes through with a real Niccoló-Machiavelli’s-“The Prince”-level content to spice things up and solve world peace.

Thankfully, our beloved Whit Less ’24 has made her mark on the political philosophical community with her controversial statement last week. “Hitler was wrong,” he boldly declared, “and we should not let leaders become dictators.” Absolutely riveting!

How does one even begin to try to match this level of insight in a way that provides meaningful discussion? At the root of political theory, does this not sum it all up? Unfortunately for the other students in the class, Less’s professor has decided to dock everyone’s grades until they find a way to provide similarly noteworthy contributions.

Across the world, current dictators are scrambling to secure their positions of power. People close to Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un have reported the two leaders are putting on a brave face to the public, but privately presenting a sense of panic and ‘fait accompli’. Hoping simply to remain in power, they have come to terms with the fact that Less’s post could spark international revolutions, and have instead opted to usher in an era of democracy to get ahead of the curve.

Experts report Whit Less is expected to be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize in the near future for single handedly spreading democracy on a global scale. 

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