HEARTWARMING! Local professor gives rousing speech amidst COVID chaos

Maximus Bean, Contributing Writer

A local medical science professor made a heartfelt speech in his class today about the hardships of COVID-19. Despite having his class on Zoom with a limited student attendance of 17, this brave individual recorded 65 minutes of the remainder of his 40-minute class talking about the harsh realities of this awful pandemic.

“It’s going to be okay,” Professor Peters assured students in a rousing speech. “We are all in this together. Although this pandemic may have separated us, it will not stop us from getting the work we need to get done, done.” After these brave and sincere words and the unbridled applause which followed, his students signed off to complete their 120-page reading and take-home dissection. When the Bucknellian asked him about this “ludicrous” assignment, he answered that “if they spend their time working, then they’ll have less time to go out and get sick.” Such services are especially vital after various COVID-19 spikes forced the University to shut down local sports, recreational facilities, dining centers and student organizations.

“Now that we’re safely quarantined in our rooms,” one student exclaimed, “COVID won’t slip mean notes under my door anymore.” Carrie Oversteele tested negative for her latest test, but it didn’t stop her from triple-masking anyways, just in case.

In other halls, students are crowding together in socially-distanced environments to make sure the disease goes to as few places as possible. One student described the predicament as such — “if we all stay together, the disease can’t catch us, because, like, we’re all in a room, and COVID hits you whenever you’re out in the hall, or outside, or even in the ELC, especially if you aren’t wearing a mask. Since we’re in Jerry’s room, we’re cool. You don’t gotta wear a mask in your room, right?” At time of writing, around six people occupied the room, each performing their take-home dissection and armed with a bottle of hand sanitizer and their last plastic fork. A seventh student remained posted outside the room, prevented from entering due to his “worrying” chicken pox.

It’s safe to say that even under the pressure of keeping the University running against a disease that could kill you instantly for daring to doubt its power, students and faculty are still doing fairly well for themselves. It is inspiring to see so many people come together (on Zoom: it’s dangerous to actually come together) in support of one another (not physical support, which could get you infected) and try to hold down the fort (metaphorically, actually trying to hold a fort would mean potentially exposing yourself to COVID-19) until this deadly virus passes by (But how will we know if it really has passed us by? What if it’s just messing with our minds? It could be hiding in a church, or a Walmart or even your favorite book! Don’t bother with any of those things. Just wait a few years).

In retrospect, that professor’s stunning speech brought to light something that we all could learn from. We really are in this together. We may not be in this together when it comes to actually being together, or seeing each other’s face not just a bunch of pixels, or how we choose to go about immunizing ourselves, because there is no such thing so far, but trust me, we all are in this together, for better or worse.

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