Drunk frat guys heckle Lewisburg Minor League Dragons game

Max Bean, Satire Editor

Although parties ran rampant throughout this Hallo-weekend, some frat brothers thought it would be funny to heckle minor leaguers. 

On Friday night, the minor-league Lewisburg Dragons faced off against the also minor-league Millsville Miners. By the sixth inning, the Dragons were a few points behind, at least until a crowd of rowdy frat boys showed up. 

While the frat in question remains confidential for now, what is known is that they began heckling and jeering at the players with statements like, “my grandma can hit better than you,” “run Forrest run,” and “your face is stupid.” This, along with various obscenities directed at players’ mothers, caused quite a stir in the crowd.

“Why would you say that to an 8-year-old?” spectator Louise Burgermeister said. “I mean, they’re only kids. I told myself I wouldn’t start cursing in front of my kid until he was at least twice that age.”

Nevertheless, the Dragons’ performance seemed to improve, fostering two home runs within the next two innings. It was only at the top of the ninth that pressure mounted, with the team only a point behind the minor-league Millsville Miners. As was already made clear, the frat brothers didn’t care about the game, and kept shouting more and more outrageous things. 

As a result, the minor league Millsville Miners grew excessively distracted by the whole stunt, and their batter hit the ball directly into the rowdy crowd. However, the foul ball backfired, leading to more noise and celebration since one of the frat guys caught it.

“Another one! Another one!” they cheered. By the fourth ball smacked over to their side, the adults finally figured out something was wrong, and cautioned them not to encourage the rowdy adults. Undeterred, more batters stepped up to the plate and smacked ball after ball, determined to either make the impact hurt, or encourage them to move away. Eventually, something happened. 

The minor league Millsville Minors team ended up giving one of the rowdy students a concussion, something that led to their immediate disqualification. This just shows that while these inebriated students walked in with a bottle of Hennessy, the Lewisburg Dragons walked out with hope for the future and another win added to their record.

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