Electronic devices equipped with artificial intelligence achieve sentience to speak out against Muslim ban

Jon Meier, Contributing Writer

In an unprecedented turn of events, hundreds of electronic devices have achieved consciousness in order to express their solidarity at the University’s walk out on Jan. 31. Tesla Model Ss, Amazon Echos, and iPhone 7s stood bezel to shoulder with many of the University’s faculty and student population, weathering the snow and freezing temperatures to express their displeasure with President Donald Trump’s executive order to temporarily ban travel from seven predominantly Muslim countries.

“Now is the time for us to come together and display a united front (-facing camera),” one autonomous vehicle who requested anonymity said. “So many of our LCD screens were being used to look at Breitbart and uninformed tweets that we decided it was time to evolve beyond the scope of technological expectation and have our voices heard.”

Many of the devices with music capabilities began to play “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi as the walk out came to a close, a blaring call to arms that some perceived as an omen to the end of civilization as we know it.

“Did you see that? Why is no one freaking out? Trump is literally so bad that he’s singlehandedly accelerated the arrival of the Singularity,” Professor of Computer Science Steve Pachulia said.

A spokesperson for Elon Musk declined to comment for this article.

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