The List: Things to say to convince your friends that you like sports

Jon Meier, Satire Co-Editor

Fall is the season of sports! The variety of football, hockey, basketball, and playoff baseball games on television make it the best time of year to be a sports fan, regardless of which team you support. But for some, sports just aren’t that appealing. If you are one of those people, don’t worry about it! Here are some things you can say at your next tailgate that will definitely convince your friends who are die-hard sports fans that you also love watching adults fight over balls of different sizes and shapes.

“Rodriguez scored three touchdowns, sank a game-winning three-pointer, and stole home in extra innings. He has to be this year’s MVP for sure.” (describing a round of golf)

“That was amazing! After he ran past the 30, he ran past the 20, and then the 10! Quite an impressive effort.” (while watching tennis)

“(Insert random player’s last name) hasn’t been good since the (insert a random president’s last name) administration!”

“I got this jersey at the first (insert sports team) game I ever went to with my pop.”

“Golly Marsha, your nine-bean dip is a home run!”

“You deserve a technical foul for that sweater.”

“Do you want to play a game of Quidditch with me?”

“ There’s no way they’ll win, a falcon would never beat a panther in a fight.” 

“I almost made it to the league, you know. If it wasn’t for my bum knee, you’d be watching me up there.”

“Both teams did a great job. At the end of the day, all that matters is that they had fun.” (watching the Super Bowl)

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