Five ways to get that spring break body in 2 weeks
February 22, 2018
- Draw abs and various muscles with highlighters and contouring tools. Kylie Jenner’s lip kit is great for enhancing the sharp edges of the abdominal muscles.
- Hire a body double. There’s no point in putting effort in this late. Christianmingle.com and Angieslist.com are great resources.
- 3D print muscle implants at the MakerSpace. After passing the tutorial, you can literally have the same abs as your favorite celebrity with the press of a button.
- Buy a rashguard and say you have eczema. You’ll still have a great time on spring break. The downside is that most people will leave the pool whenever you go in.
- Binge eat and commit to a dad/mom bod. This was a thing circa mid-2017. Lie to yourself and those around you and reclaim the narrative from the fat-shamers.
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