J. Cole album arrives just in time for hypebeasts

Jon Meier, Satire Editor

J. Cole, who went double platinum without any features on his album, “2014 Forest Hill Drive,” released his fifth studio album titled “KOD” on April 20. Announced only a week prior to the drop, the entire rap community was caught in a fervor over the project’s potential direction, and what it would do for people’s aesthetic.

“It’s taken almost five years to cultivate my sadboi aesthetic on Instagram. I was starting to run out of ideas so KOD came at the right time. You can only post so many pics of Arizona green teas, bucket hats, and Backwoods blunts. I got a few weeks of runway from The Weeknd’s album but I’m about to get so in my feels with me, myself and Jermaine,” Yung_Sadboi4life ’19 said.

Twitter was abuzz the following morning raving about what Cole’s newest album would do for their clout. Tweets ranged from analyses of the album’s title, to pulled quotes from the album laid over sepia filtered photos.

“There’s a phrase in Latin, Kalatoris Obdormitus Danisticum. It means ‘servants sleeping on borrowed money.’ I think that’s just beautiful,” a tweet from Clout_it_from_the_mountaintops said, which received over 5,000 retweets.

Cole’s album was streamed over 64.5 million times on Apple Music, breaking the record previously held by Drake’s “VIEWS.” Multiple individuals have live-streamed themselves playing the album on repeat.

“I’m just doing what I can for Cole. He did so much for my aesthetic because he captures the perfect mélange of mellow, aggressive, and tortured soul. I’ll be able to use his song lyrics as instagram captions for weeks,” LEAN_on_me ’18 said.

J. Cole has yet to respond to the influx of tweets with tongue, sweat, and 100 emojis directed at him — a classic GOAT move according to hip hop website PigeonsandPlanes.

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