Bucky’s Declassified VIII

Tip #12345

No party is ever full. It just reaches “capacity.” To get in, all you need is a written note with your professor’s approval and a decent elevator pitch for the people at the door. Always come prepared with a winning smile, a laminated resume, and a series of elaborate dance moves.

Tip #12435

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year again: course selection for the spring semester. When preparing your new schedule, you have to make some difficult choices. Which CCC requirements should I fulfill? Which electives can I squeeze in? Should I take this mandatory 8 a.m. biology lecture to graduate or should I just switch majors? Remember to go with your gut, unless your gut picked the 8 a.m. lecture.

Tip #13245

Have you noticed that the people around you are slowly dropping like flies from colds and coughs and early signs of the flu? That’s the first red flag to get your flu shot before it’s too late. If you’re afraid of needles, go with the alternative: carry an industrial-sized box of moist towelettes and hand sanitizer for all of your daily needs: interview handshakes, wiping off keyboards, and scrubbing down your entire floor. It’s only weird if you get sick.

Tip #14352

As it starts to get colder out, it’s always a good idea to dress in layers. However, this can be a problem if you don’t do laundry, or don’t know how to do laundry, or don’t know where the washing machine is in your building, or don’t know what a washing machine is. Find your most grown-up friend and have them show you the basics before the piles of clothes that smells like death in the corner of your room starts walking around again.

Tip #15432

Having trouble finding the right job and constantly stressing about your plans beyond graduation? Yeah? Me too.

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