“I didn’t eat lunch today; I had Sweet Frog instead.”

“Vedder is just a communal hell hole.”

“I hate The Bucknellian; I just read it to hate on it.”

“Boy, I know you want to buy one of these henleys.”

“Well, it’s a slippery slope of divestments.”

“I don’t think she’d kick me out of Pizza Phi with ADPi. But AXiD is definitely on the rise.”

**A note from the satire editors: Most of the sh*t we put in this section is fake. However, these quotes are 100 percent true. Send the sh*t you “overherd” to [email protected] or [email protected]!