As many of you may know, this is the last edition of “The Bucknellian” to include satire. One of the biggest reasons for this decision was the fact that satirical writers were routinely writing articles that, while at first seemed like a farce, would often come true hours later as if by the magic of publishing. Take, for example, “Fight breaks out between Management 101 companies selling shirts” by Tyler Thrutchley ’26. Hours after that publication, a massive brawl broke out in the bottom of the ELC which was only broken up after Governor Josh Shapiro sent in the National Guard. Another article that appeared as just a joke, “New exam policy: professors consider ‘Hotness Factor’ when granting exam retakes,” by Hayley Leopold ’26, was quickly proven to be true after multiple students came forth with damning allegations against members of the faculty. Apparently, you do have to wear makeup to class. And who can forget the horrible tragedy that happened at Uptown after “Fire Friday event at Uptown promotes arson” by Shane Monaghan ’26 was printed?

Of course, there were other factors at play here. President Bravman and the Board of Trustees had become increasingly upset at how satire has portrayed them for years. 

On the topic, Bravman was quoted as saying he was “sick of false quotes being attributed to him” and that “satirical writers really need to think of something more creative.” While there were protests after his words were made public, as often happens when he speaks, many students ended up agreeing that perhaps satire had run its course. Perhaps the one little spark of creativity left in the paper needed to be taken out back behind the shed before it ended up becoming nothing more than a mockery of itself. 

So, as the editors load up the shotgun and whisper sweet nothings to Old Satire, there is little more we can do than to go back and look at all the wonderfully interesting and funny stories that have been put out by the many creative students who came before us. Soon, “The Bucknellian” will just be a paper filled with the hollow work of sports journalism and opinions once more.