“My crockpot was supposed to arrive today.”

“I can’t go to your Mardi Gras party I’m going to an accounting pregame.”

“Ya know I talked to that girl during rush, and I did not think she would wind up in Kappa.”

“You post some very woke stuff on Facebook.”

Tour guide: “Let’s get the boring stuff out of the way: academics.”

“ILY LIT.”

**A note from the satire editors: Most of the sh*t we put in this section is fake. However, these quotes are 100% true. Send the sh*t you “overherd” to [email protected] or [email protected]!