The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

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Sully & Mike visit campus after Monsters Inc night @ Uptown

The showing of “Monsters University” on Friday night was a unanimous hit. Uptown was packed to the brim with Pixar fanatics who could not wait to watch the beloved movie for yet another time, and the mac ’n cheese bites certainly did not disappoint. Though the movie didn’t end until 1 a.m., students were glued to their seats the whole time, obviously not minding the walk of shame back to their dorms afterwards.

The morning after, news of a surprising visit spread across the university like wildfire: Sully and Mike were on campus! Though most people would think that the infamous monsters were there to give students a scaring lesson, it became clear that the duo made an appearance for a very different reason. You see, even monsters seek love, and Sully and Mike were sneaking around campus in hopes of rizzing up a female Bucknellian.

Unfortunately for Mike and Sully, it flew over their heads that no woman with an ounce of common sense would ever fall for two beasts as hideous as James P. Sullivan and Mike Wazowski. After all, they are professional scarers, meaning that they make a living making humans run away. Why would they think a woman would look their way affectionately?

It also doesn’t help that Sully and Mike don’t know how to act around women. Sully, with his tall and imposing figure, took it upon himself to lean over the women spewing cringy pickup lines: “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” 

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As if his ferocious, husky body wasn’t grotesque enough, he wasn’t doing himself any favors with his jokes.

As for Mike, his go-to move was a wink and an arm around the shoulder. Unfortunately for Wazowski, his winking looked pretty foolish given that he has one eye, and his 3 foot 2 inch figure needed a stepping stool to even come face to face with the subject of his interest. The girls were already gone before he even got a chance to climb the stool.

After a couple hours, President Bravman decided that it was time to put an end to the foolishness and ordered the iconic magic door to send the roaring tag team back to where they came from. 

Maybe Boo really was the only human who appreciated Mike and Sully for who they are!

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