The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

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Sophomores find ingenious solution to choosing meal plans with too few swipes

After spending weeks of their summer ruminating over dining options, sophomore Bucknellians locked in their decisions and sent a prayer that their meal plans would hold them off until the end of the semester. Unfortunately for the sad saps who were stuck with no more than five swipes, they came to the realization early on that it would be a struggle to meet their weekly food intake goals.

You see, five swipes per week leaves 16 excess meals to either be satisfied via the Bison, Doordash or restaurants downtown, assuming that you eat three meals a day. And let me tell you, although all three of these options are delicious, they are extremely expensive. With only $300 dining dollars for an entire semester, your sophomore Bucknellians were in a predicament.

Therefore, they were forced to improvise. After all, desperate times call for desperate measures. 

After pinpointing all the club meetings providing food across campus throughout the week, the starving students stared at their finished product: a color coded Google Calendar riddled with free food opportunities. After scrolling through the Google Calendar, I must admit that I am both simultaneously impressed and mortified. Whether it was a cultural, religious or academic organization, these hungry hippos had managed to ensure that they would be adequately fed for the week. And they did it without spending a dollar!

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Though it was truly strange to see 40 new faces waltz into club meetings each day, the club presidents certainly were not complaining. For crying out loud, these students increased participation and enthusiasm while ensuring that no food went to waste. It’s a true win-win situation!

The advantages of this new strategy didn’t stop there. Because clubs and organizations were brimming with students, BSG was forced to increase every club’s budget to accommodate the dire need for food at the meetings. Thus, food orders became large, and local small businesses were thriving. Sushihanna was receiving orders by the second. The demand for sushi was at an all time high!

When the word got out about this ingenious dining tactic, it immediately became a hit among the entire student body. Students were lining up by the dozen in front of the dining services office to change their meal plans to ones with fewer swipes. The students would not leave the dining office until they switched to the five swipe plan, and things started getting ugly until Bravman came to the scene and threatened expulsion. 

We can’t blame these intelligent students, though. Why spend money on swipes when you can be guaranteed free food by simply accepting a Google Calendar invite?

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