The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

Five types of relationships you will have as part of your liberal arts experience

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

April 27, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

The Doomed: This relationship will start right at the beginning of your college career. You’re just a wide-eyed 18-year-old looking for “the literature building.” And they are a wise senior who can find everything. Rarely does this relationship lead to heartbreak because of their impending...

Young Love: Looking for love in all the wrong places: Campus Edition

Young Love: Looking for love in all the wrong places: Campus Edition

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

April 20, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

1.  The basement of Harris Hall, during your first year 2.  The third floor of Bertrand Library (the basement of Bertrand would also be acceptable) 3.  The Fall Fest concert (Spring Concert is not an alternative) 4.  KLARC 5.  The Library Café (just get your coffee and go) 6....

Young Love: Uncuffing season

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

April 13, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

Josh Miller ’17 sat in class on Thursday afternoon debating how to break up with his girlfriend of six months, Sarah Martinez ’17. The reason for the termination of the relationship was not derived from a lack of chemistry, but rather an increase of temperature—outside. In the last week, the dreary...

Senior couple ‘really hopeful’ about their last-month-of-school romance

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

April 6, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

After several rounds of Long Island Iced Teas on Thursday night, Chris Phillipe ’17 and Sarah Fitz ’17 decided to exclusively date one another for the remainder of senior year. Having met two Thursdays before, this seemed like a curveball to many of their friends. Phillipe’s good friend Sam Schipper...

Young Love: 13 things you would rather do than text first

Young Love: 13 things you would rather do than text first

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

March 30, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

Go to Bertrand Library without headphones. Do all of your roommates’ laundry. Do your laundry. Attend the optional 7-10 p.m. Thursday night lecture on biomimicry. Say hello to everyone you know while walking across campus. Go to the gym. Go to the gym without headphones. ...

Young Love: An open letter to that couple from freshman year

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

March 9, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

I see you; we all see you. You’re that couple that created a relationship out of the hot muggy air that festered throughout New Student Orientation back in August. While the majority of students struggled to find even the bathroom, you two somehow managed to find love. That’s really great for...

Young Love: Gym Boyfriend

Young Love: Gym Boyfriend

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

March 2, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

As Sarah Neilsen ’17 did sit-ups on the mat under the stairs in KLARC, she saw the same tall, tan, and sweaty boy as she did every Tuesday at 5 p.m. She knew that their unwavering eye contact while she worked her core and he used some oversized machine no female in the gym touched meant nothing....

Young Love: LinkedIn and hooked up

Young Love: LinkedIn and hooked up

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

February 23, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

After seeing Max, an old alumni crush, back on campus for a career fair, Eliza Smith ’17 decided it was time to make her move. She’d had a crush on this man since she was a first-year and he was a senior. Not only had he retained his good looks, but he now had a great job at a prestigious...

Young Love: A very chill text message to my blind formals date

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

February 16, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

Hey Dave! It’s Emma, your formals date for this Friday. I just wanted to let you know the plan for pre-formals. A group of us (who you do not know at all) are going to meet at my place first, just a small group—super chill. Anyway, here’s the itinerary for the night: 1) Arrive promptly to my apartme...

Young Love: Bucknell in Love — Unfiltered

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

February 10, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

Mark Fisher ’84 and Lulu Williamson Fisher ’85 Mark and I met in a dark corner of the Beta Omicron (B.O.) basement when I was a first-year. He was a sophomore in the coolest fraternity on campus and his social status immediately swept me off my feet. Coincidentally, when I met him my feet were...

Young Love: College student’s girl squad declares, ‘You can do better’

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

February 2, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

At 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday, a college junior heard the most inspiring words of her young life. “Jake was such a jerk last night,” the 20-year old said while sitting in a cramped downtown bistro with five of her closest friends. Her friends listened for two hours while waiting for their dirty...

Young Love: Places you ran into your high school ex over break

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

January 26, 2017


Filed under Satire, Young Love

1. The grocery store. Both of your moms sent you out to grab last-minute ingredients for dinner. “Hey.” “Hey.” 2. The local coffee shop one Saturday morning. Since you’re both alone, you decided to have coffee together and catch up. “Well, you look great.” “Thanks, you...

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