Maximus Bean Archives - The Bucknellian

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor

Major: Creative Writing ’24

Minor: Legal Studies

Hometown: Belmar, NJ

All content by Maximus Bean

Concert reading “The Storms We Brave” debuts in ELC Forum

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
April 27, 2023

Bucknell Hosts 10th Sustainability Symposium

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
April 20, 2023

Freeman Week celebrates management community

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
April 14, 2023

Bucknell professor discovers magnetic field 12 light-years Away

Maximus Bean and Michael Taromina
April 13, 2023

One Herd One Day program earns more than $1 million

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
April 6, 2023

RAYthon raises $10k for Janet Weis Children’s Hospital

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
March 30, 2023

Diversity Symposium to center on belonging

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
March 30, 2023

Bucknell to host TEDx after spring break

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
March 10, 2023

Denice Frohman reads poetry at Uptown

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
March 10, 2023

Bucknell professor captures photos of green comet

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
March 3, 2023

Griot Institute hosts incoming VP of Equity & Inclusive Excellence Vernese Edghill-Walden ‘87

Maximus Bean and Michael Taromina
March 3, 2023

Class of 2023 tribute starts construction

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
February 24, 2023

From the Archives: The Bucknellian-BSG War of 1984

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
February 24, 2023

Eric Deggans and Shirley Lim attend legacies debut

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
February 17, 2023

Bucknell named a top producer of Fulbright Scholars

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
February 17, 2023

Polar Plunge makes splash in Lewisburg

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
February 10, 2023

Bucknell Winter Showcase presents ‘The One Act Play That Goes Wrong’

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
February 3, 2023

Laura Villareal presents the Drew Darrow Memorial Poetry Reading

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
February 3, 2023

Dean Badal announces updated mental health programs

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
February 3, 2023

Flo Rida and Yung Gravy to perform at Bucknell’s Spring Concert

Maximus Bean, News Co-Editor
January 26, 2023

Thanksgiving Leftovers Temporarily Solve Food Insecurity

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
December 2, 2022

Festivus event mobbed by people who’ve never seen Seinfeld

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
December 2, 2022

Students cutting class surprised by failing grades

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
November 19, 2022

Sudden snowfall causes catastrophe for Thanksgiving breakers

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
November 19, 2022

Bucknell fall semester guests, here are our suggestions

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
November 11, 2022

Sports scholarships finally paying off, Bucknell Football Team won for once

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
November 4, 2022

Drunk frat guys heckle Lewisburg Minor League Dragons game

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
November 4, 2022

Library adjusts floor rules for students whispering “Boo!”

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
October 28, 2022

PETA activist on campus: Cannibalism over Carnivorism

Maximus Bean, Satire Section Editor
October 21, 2022

Wholesome! Department Professors Align Midterm Dates for Same Day

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
October 6, 2022

Professor Brent Papson starts up “Event Prep 101” Class next Semester

Maximus Bean, Satire Editor
October 6, 2022

Freshmen start up paper out of dorms, rehash recent events and post it everywhere on campus

Maximus Bean, Satire Section Editor
September 29, 2022

Condoleezza Rice Zooms in for American Democracy Event; Silent on State of Democracy in Iraq

Maximus Bean, Satire Section Editor
September 15, 2022

Overherd on Campus: First-Year Women fighting to be this week’s Fraternity Bowling “Chauffeur”

Maximus Bean, Satire Content Editor
September 15, 2022

Samek Art Gallery unveils newest exhibition: It’s literally just words

Maximus Bean, Satire Content Editor
September 9, 2022

Students in Vedder surprised by distinct lack of black mold (and other consequences)

Maximus Bean, Satire Section Editor
September 2, 2022

Secret Scientific Lab Successfully Clones Winston Churchill, who was Previously Dead

Maximus Bean
April 29, 2022

Students lay out “prank eggs” during Easter egg hunt

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
April 22, 2022

To Solve the housing crisis, University establishes “Housing Boats” on the Susquehanna

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
April 22, 2022

Neon Niche: Why Mountain Dew is the perfect modern soft drink

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
April 15, 2022

Here’s some time periods from the “Through the Decades” event that didn’t make the cut

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
April 15, 2022

Teachers flip the script by skipping class for April Fools’

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
April 8, 2022

Amami releases new “Adrena-ccino” to student customers

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
April 8, 2022

Oh No! Brent Papson retires!

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
April 1, 2022

If you don’t know news, stick to satire folks

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
April 1, 2022

As cherry blossoms sprout, hay fever sets in for endangered student population

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
March 24, 2022

In courageous new legislation, all bears banned for their synonymy with Russia

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
March 24, 2022

Satire: Letter from a concerned citizen

Jovial Brawnson and Maximus Bean
March 4, 2022

Man only reads Tabloids to Avoid any Real News

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
March 4, 2022

End of Party Restrictions leads to Largest Rager ever seen by Administration

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
February 25, 2022

Astonishing Report Reveals Winston Churchill is still Dead One Week later

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
February 18, 2022

Recent Winston Churchill panel reveals former Prime Minister dead: Shocking report

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
February 11, 2022

American truckers join Canadian convoy rerouting to Ottawa: freedom at what cost?

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
February 4, 2022

Students Desperate to keep Holidays going create Fake Celebration On-Campus

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
January 28, 2022

Irresponsible Late-Night Sledding leads to Traffic Jam; Multiple injured

Maximus Bean, Satire Co-Editor
January 28, 2022

Student enrolls in localized Squid Game competition for campus dollars payout

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
December 1, 2021

Increase in mental health services when students struggle to adapt to life at home

Maximus Bean
November 17, 2021

Global warming isn’t real: The awful truth about what you’ve been hearing

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
November 10, 2021

Everybody’s a critic! Professor faces backlash after waterboarding student

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
November 3, 2021

Due to cybersecurity threats, University installs extra-safe login credentials

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
October 27, 2021

Opinions Writer praises Jordan Peterson’s speech, is Banished from Newspaper

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
October 20, 2021

Easy There! Christmas Decorations Already Up Before Halloween

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
October 6, 2021

Why is Everybody Coughing?

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
September 29, 2021

Peace and Quiet Enjoyed by Lewisburg Residents Comes to Screeching Halt

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
September 22, 2021

Student Health: Why Does it Matter?

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
September 15, 2021

Don’t Worry! Here is What Your Tuition Money is Going Towards

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
September 8, 2021

Political Science Student Has to Pretend to Read the News

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
September 1, 2021

Recent Poll finds College Friendships Dropped by 20 Percent Following Relaxed Masking Policies

Maximus Bean, Senior Writer
September 1, 2021

Professors angry about reduction in COVID cases

Maximus Bean, Staff Writer
March 3, 2021

Local snowfall causes inconvenience for everyone

Maximus Bean, Staff Writer
February 17, 2021

HEARTWARMING! Local professor gives rousing speech amidst COVID chaos

Maximus Bean, Contributing Writer
February 10, 2021

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